The following has been archived from a now abandoned website dedicated to fixing Nintendo related consoles, founded in 1998 by a person whos information has been mysteriously withheld. Its last known uptime was on December 15, 2015.
Trying to do much else besides browsing the forums is impossible, because the rest of the site has been locked up.
November 28, 2015 - Saturday, 4:48 PM CT
toypop: Hello, I've found a Gamecube rotting my attic for god knows how long... Its been playing just fine till now, some strange red error screen keeps coming up with weird, creepy ambient music and I have no idea how to fix it. Can anybody assist me with this? :(
Forum Moderator: Strange, are you sure its coming from the console? Its gotta be like, a fan or something. Also, what type of error screen? Im gonna need more than a summary if you want me to fix this.
toypop: *presumably an image of the error, but the link has expired.*
Forum Moderator: This seems easy, have you taken apart the console and inspected the motherboard? It's probably just loose RAM or Memory.
toypop: Yeah, nothing loose or out of place, just minor dust particles.
Forum Moderator: Hmm, never had this happen to my consoles. Re-assemble it and try booting it up now, let me know if anythings changed.
Fifteen minutes later, toypop comes back at 5:23 PM.
toypop: Same thing as before :( but i've actually found something new. I pressed B after the first error screen and the console hanged on the same screen for 2 minutes, screen goes dark and the ambience stops, only to spit out another error! >:(
this time, its a black box surrounded with a grey border giving me the same crap about "shutting down to prevent damage to the system's internals" or something like that. And there was two options. A to shut down, and B to keep running.
Forum Moderator: I've... never heard of this happening to anyone, this is beginning to get weird. Keep pressing onwards.
toypop: More hangtime onscreen, and more silence and a black screen. This time, it stayed quiet for an extra minute before flashing red in a random order.
It gives me one more warning, more threatening than the last. And the options seemed off for a serious matter like this. I pressed B and it prompts me with quite an ominous statement.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE RISKS"
At this moment I put my controller down and went to shut it off. Must've accidently pressed B while doing so, Because the volume of the creepy ambience stuff jumped.
1 minute of silence, and a photo of a middle-aged Japanese man came on screen, On the right, theres this thing with "GBA 2003" in the middle. Link to the Past's file select music is playing through my speaker. I've tried to reset the console but It always brings me back here.
Forum Moderator: I've been copying what you've said down, gonna try and get this to the people at The Cutting Room Floor. This could be vital news.
Yeah, vital news... Wait, is someone in here?
January 16, 2016 - Saturday, 12:24 AM CT
Police reports to find the dead body of a man in a backyard shed, bodyparts cut off with a bonesaw. Fingerprints were traced to Japanese 38 year old Kira Satsujin-han, an ex-Nintendo employee who previously worked on the development of the GameCube in late 2001. He was fired after the CEO found about his "other hobbies" which were along the lines of murdering people by the dozens in several different states. He treated his creations as "his children" and vowed to get rid of anybody trying to uncover his plans.
(Pasta inspired by toypop's Gamecube Killscreen video on YouTube.)
So while I think this draft is better, there still are some issues that are unresolved from the first time around.
The cliches are still present, such as the "DEAD" and the crude drawing of a person. Looking at this list, you will find that several of them are included here.
Why would the moderator immediately assume that the "creepy music" is the fan inside the console? Granted this part isn't that important, I just feel that he should be more sublte about it. Perhaps he suggests that it could the fan. It just feels like a hasty conclusion to make given that he doesn't know what it sounds like.
A nitpick, but "And I swore I saw the words (word) "DEAD" in bold, red letters appear in the bottom right corner." Dead is only one word.
I also found Alan's death to be a bit abrupt. What exactly killed him? I think leaving some hints around as to what exactly killed him (the game, a person, suicide, etc.) would be helpful.
Overall, I do think this is an improvement, but I still feel that the cliches still bring the story down. I think if you were to rework some of those (not to say that you have to get rid of all of them), you could have a more unique story that stands out from the rest of the pack.