Derpy Hooves was humming to herself as she entered Sugarcube Corner. She trotted into the kitchen and opened a metal door, descending the stairs to the dark basement. Pinkie Pie was already down there, setting up tools and essentials needed for today's play date.

There was a lavender colored stallion with a grey mane strapped to the table, unconscious. His cutie mark was a rainbow, except it only had purple, orange, and yellow. Derpy trotted over, a huge smile on her face, her scarf composed of cutie marks waving in the air as she moved.

"Ready, Derpy?" asked Pinkie Pie, and Derpy nodded, grinning. "I've got to go see Applejack, but I'll be back by the time you're done. You can handle this, right?"

"Yup yup yup!" said Derpy. Pinkie Pie waved and bounced up the stairs, out of the basement. Derpy was confident, pulling her scarf off and setting it on the table with painted pony skulls. Then she paced in front of her playmate patiently, waiting for him to wake up.

It was nearly twenty minutes before the stallion regained consciousness. Derpy fluttered in front of him, smiling. The stallion opened his eyes and gasped lightly, looking confused.

"Where am I?" he asked weakly. "Who are you?"

"You don't remember me, Spectrum?" asked Derpy calmly, still smiling. Spectrum stared at her, looking into her crossed eyes.

"I... I went to flight school with you..." he replied. "They kicked you out because you were a terrible flyer..."

"Is that all you remember...?" Derpy whispered in a surprisingly sadistic tone. Spectrum began to feel scared, and chose to not respond. Derpy's smile disappeared and she shot away from him, her hooves clacking as they came in contact with the concrete floor.

"Maybe I make you remember..." She took almost an attack position, leaned forward, and began to shout, "'CROSS EYES, CROSS EYES! DERPY HAS CROSS EYES! RETARD, RETARD! DERPY IS A RETARD!!'" Spectrum's pupils contracted and he began to struggle against his bindings.

"D-Derpy!" he exclaimed.

"Uh... it's... nice to see you again..." Derpy let out the loudest, ear shattering scream she could muster. Spectrum winced, being forced to listen to the wail because he was unable to cover his ears. Derpy stopped screaming and took a big hop toward her captive.

"I know what 'retard' means now..." she whispered, her yellow eyes glowing with rage.

"Just cause I don't understand so good as other ponies don't mean I'm retarded! I'm a pony just like the all you! I have a cutie mark!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry I teased you!" Spectrum cried, trying to flap his wings, but there was barely any space to move them.

"No you're not," said Derpy, pacing in front of him.

"No one is ever sorry. They laugh at Derpy cause Derpy can't fly so good or talk so good. They talk behind Derpy's back. They talk real slow cause they think Derpy can't understand fast talking..." She suddenly grabbed a scalpel and held it up in front of Spectrum's face, the blade about an inch from his nose. Beads of sweat started forming on his forehead as he stared at her weapon. Derpy briefly retrieved her home made scarf from the table.

"See this scarf? It's made of cutie marks from ponies I've made muffins into. But it's too shortish, so I need more..." She tossed the scarf onto the table again, moving her scalpel away from Spectrum's face and toward his right flank.

"No! Derpy, no! Please!" he pleaded, and Derpy sneered at him.

"No, I think I won't stop," she replied, and carved very slowly around the tricolored rainbow as the stallion howled in pain. Blood dribbled from the cut and down his leg, staining his coat.

Once Derpy was done with the circle, she slowly and carefully peeled the skin away from the muscle. Spectrum was actually sheading tears at this point. Derpy went to his other flank and did the same thing. When she was done, she wiggled them in front of Spectrum's face. "Blank flank, blank flank! Spectrum is a blank flank!" she sang.

"Derpy, let me go!" Spectrum huffed, his body trembling from the pain. "Just... just let me go and I'll... I'll leave Cloudsdale! I'll move far away from Ponyville and won't ever bother you again!"

"No, I can't have you go cause I need muffins," said Derpy, setting the cutie marks on the table. "Besides, then I won't get... get..." She furrowed her brow. "What did Pinkie Pie call it? It means to hurt someone cause they hurt you..."

"R-revenge?" Spectrum suggested, and Derpy stomped her hoof on the floor.

"Revenge! Yea!" She grinned up at him. "You made me sad, and now I make you sad and make you into muffins."

"You're actually going to kill me and bake me in muffins?!" Spectrum shouted, not wanting to believe his ears.

"Of course!" said Derpy, and she set her scalpel on the metal side table. She then took Pinkie Pie's favorite hacksaw and waved it in the air. "I don't fly so good, Spectrum. Are you a good flyer?"


"You won't be a good flyer no more." Derpy viciously grabbed one of Spectrum's wings and started sawing through it violently, splattering blood all over herself and Spectrum's cheek. He screamed like he'd never screamed before, struggling with the pain and clenching his teeth. "Aw, you sound like a little filly!" Derpy giggled when she sawed the wing completely off. "I wonder what I'll do with your wings. I have my own, but maybe Apple Bloom will want them." She moved to his other wing and sawed it off as well. Then she set both wings aside and smiled at Spectrum. "No more good flying!"

"D-Derpy..." Spectrum gasped, his face soaked in tears.

"Keep talking, it gives you stuff to do when I cut you up," Derpy replied, examining her table of implements, debating on what to do next. Spectrum let out a soft, defeated wail, hanging his head. She noticed the hot coals Pinkie had set up, and then nodded with delight. She took a long, thin, metal rod and set it in the coals to heat up. "I need something to put on my hoof so I don't get an owie," she said, more to herself than to Spectrum.

Derpy wandered around the basement, looking for something to protect her from getting burnt. Spectrum lifted his head, watching her. Please don't find anything, please don't find anything! he thought desperately. Unfortunately for him, Derpy found a very dirty old cloth to hold the rod with.

She returned to the table and set the cloth down, grabbing two unfamiliar metal objects. They were bent at each end so they looked like giant, dull staples. Derpy forced Spectrum's mouth open, and as he tried to wriggle out of her grasp, she shoved the metal things on either side of his mouth, forcing it to stay open. Derpy giggled, grabbed a pair of pliers in one hoof, the cloth in the other, and finally retrieved the rod from the hot coals.

Spectrum started whimpering as Derpy grabbed his tongue tightly with the pliars, pulling it out as far as it would go. Then she slowly, with great suspense, brought the hot rod closer and closer...

The stallion let out a high pitched scream as the white hot metal came in contact with his tongue, sizzling as it burned the flesh. Derpy laughed maniacally, pressing the rod against his tongue as firmly as she could. When she felt it cool down, she tossed the rod away and jerked her pliers hard. There was another blood curddling scream from Spectrum as his entire tongue was ripped out. He sobbed, blood flowing from his open mouth.

"You want your mouth shut now?" she asked soothingly. Spectrum didn't answer, just continued to sob. She smiled kindly, taking the metal things out of his mouth. She watched him, as if she felt sorry for him. Spectrum met her eyes, spitting out blood, thinking that maybe she was considering letting him go...

Derpy let out a shriek of laughter, bucking the pot of hot coals at Spectrum. He screamed as each rock collided with his body, leaving scorches in his fur and skin. Derpy hopped up and down, clapping her hooves with joy.

"Great show! Do it again! Do it again!" she squealed. She picked up a coal with her mouth, not caring that it burned her lips, and shoved it into his mouth instead.

"Ooh! I gave you a kissy!" Derpy blushed, giggling as Spectrum spit the coal out. His entire mouth was practically blackened by the burns. Derpy gingerly touched her own lips, which were a little red. "Got an owie. Oopsies." With another giggle, she trotted around the room to let off some excitement. She started singing a song that Pinkie Pie had taught her.

"Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile
Yes I do!
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while
Yes it does!
Cause all I really need's a smile smile smile
From these happy friends of mine!"

"Come on, Spectrum! Smile!" cheered Derpy, grinning at her guest. Spectrum's puffy eyes started to close very slowly.

"Oh no!" squeaked Derpy, and she took a syringe filled with adrenaline and injected it into Spectrum. His eyes burst open, and he gasped, coughing as he inhaled a lot of blood. "There we go! You don't wanna miss the party!"

She trotted to her little table, scanning it over and trying to decide what to use. She frowned at her tools, feeling a little bored of them. She looked around the room, brow furrowed, and ears pulled back. Then she fluttered over to a large tool box that Pinkie Pie kept in the basement and started going through drawers to find something new. Suddenly, Derpy let out a loud gasp, picking something up with her teeth. Running back over, Spectrum saw it was a spool with some shiny silver thread on it.

"Look, Spectrum!" said Derpy, setting the spool on her table. "I just had a great idea! Pinkie Pie calls my great ideas 'brain smarties.' She tells at me that I get brain smarties when I think of something very very good and..." She furrowed her brow, trying to remember the word Pinkie Pie had used. "Pro... pr... pro... duck... iff. Produckiff!" Derpy giggled and started unraveling the spool.

Spectrum watched in fear as the thread sparkled in the dim light. Something wasn't right... the thread seemed stiffer than normal thread, almost as if it was made out of something else... Putting two and two together, he realized with horror that it wasn't thread at all; it was twine.

Derpy was humming Pinkie's "Smile" song to herself as she cut four long pieces of twine and laid them carefully on the floor. Then she explored the vast basemement again and managed to find a dusty old yoke in the corner, which she pulled back into her working area. Derpy then began tying all four sections of twine to the yoke, but suddenly let out a loud, "eep!" as she accidentally sliced the skin above her hoof. She inspected the wound, and saw that it was bleeding much more than a cut that size normally would've. Derpy licked it clean and smiled wide at Spectrum.

"These string is real sharpish!" she exclaimed. "We won't have trouble playing with it!" Once she was done tying the twine to the yoke, she started tying the other ends to Spectrum's limbs. He groaned in fear, unable to speak clearly without his tongue, and tried to evade Derpy's advances. It was no use, however. Soon the twine was tied to his upper arms and both his thighs.

At last, Derpy slid the yoke onto her neck and started slowly walking forward, away from Spectrum. She looked behind her shoulder at him, seeing he was wincing and struggling. Derpy gave a smile and a sharp tug. There was a shriek of pain from the stallion, which made Derpy's smile widen.

It was a disturbing smile, one that Spectrum had never seen on a pony. It was wide, her teeth were clenched tightly together, and her pupils seemed to constrict despite the low lighting. He had almost forgot about everything else while paralyzed with fear... but that didn't last long.

With a piercing scream of a laugh, Derpy started running as fast as she could, the twine being pulled taut as a result. Spectrum's blood curdling wails could barely be heard over Derpy's laughter as she continued running. The table that Spectrum lay on was firmly bolted to the stone floor, so it stayed perfectly in place.

The twine began to cut into Spectrum's flesh, blood seeping out at a surprisingly fast rate. He was yelling in pain, just wishing it'd be over. At this point, he didn't care if someone helped him or not, he just wanted it to end.

Derpy lifted herself into the air with her wings, flying fast and tugging the twine even harder than before. She pulled with all her might, telling herself that she was strong and that she could do it. Pinkie Pie will be so proud of me! she thought happily.

Spectrum's screams became hoarse as his throat burned in pain. The agony on his limbs increased as the twine started cutting into the bone, and he suddenly threw up onto his chest. It was mostly blood and bile. He shut his eyes tight, panting and writhing as he heard cracking sounds...

Finally, with one last powerful burst of speed from Derpy, Spectrum's limbs broke off of him, and Derpy ran headlong into the wall. She fell back onto the cold floor and lay there for a moment, trying to regain composure. After a minute, she recovered. Getting clumsily to her hooves, she saw the arms and legs of the stallion lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. Derpy bounced with joy, leaping back over to the table and seeing Spectrum slowly losing consciousness again.

"NOT YET!!" she shrieked, and gave him another shot of adrenaline. Once more, Spectrum was forced awake, his body burning with white hot pain. Derpy held up a second syringe.

"This is numby stuff," she explained.

"It's so you don't feel ouchy when I cut you open. Then we can still play while I harvest!" More tears poured out of Spectrum's eyes, but he had no energy left for screaming or struggling.

Derpy shot him up with the paralyzing serum, and then patiently waited for a few minutes. She watched Spectrum's face, unblinkingly, with that creepy smile on her face again. After about five minutes, she grabbed her scalpel.

"Ew, you got sickish everywhere!" she complained, and took a rag to clean up the vomit on Spectrum's chest. Once the area was clear, she sliced him open and began pulling out organs. "I used to tell stories about the organs, but I got bored," said Derpy. "Now I sing songs! Pinkie Pie likes to sing, so I like to sing now too!" Spectrum watched as his own inards were pulled from his torso. Derpy began to sing.

"Hello Mr. Kidney,
How are you today?
We're having so much fun,
Come on over and play!
Stomach can come too,
But he needs to be good!
No fighting with Bladder,
Behave like Bladder would!
Intestine small and intestine big,
So long like a snakey,
They'll tie around Liver,
Making him all achey!
But no one is as bad
As nasty old Spleen!
We don't like him at all,
He is just too mean!
Lungs can be balloons
For our fun little party,
We can start without Pancreas
Cause he's already tardy!
All that's left now
Is the big squishy Heart!
Now that we have him,
The fun can really start!!"

The last organ to fly into the bucket was Spectrum's heart, which stopped beating in a matter of seconds. Spectrum's eyes were still open, but they were blank and listless, staring into nothing. Derpy giggled, picking up the bucket.

"I had fun with you today, Spectrum!" Derpy exclaimed.

"Thank you for muffins!" With that, Derpy carried the bloody bucket up to the kitchen where Pinkie Pie was waiting.

While Derpy was cutting up the organs, Pinkie went down into the basement to skin and cut up Spectrum's remains. When she returned to the shop with the meat, she smiled at Derpy.

"Wow!" she exclaimed. "You did a great job, Derpy!"

"Thanks!" Derpy replied.

"I wanted to make it extra special for him cause he was my bestest friend at school. I owed him a favor..."

That same creepy grin played Derpy's face, and Pinkie Pie returned it with a terrifying smile of her own. The two ponies laughed as they made the muffins, celebrating Derpy's job well done.

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