Talk:Jeff the Killer Redux/@comment-25941663-20151211172314

The scene at the beginning was very good. I greatly enjoyed it and it set the Killer up superbly. Very nice work.

The first half of the story went by relatively slow and it felt like an exposition dump for the most part. It would have been nice if that exposition was spread over a bit more, right now most is condensed in the first half. Still, it helped in building character and overall it was a nice addition.

Other than that, I liked how you gave Troy and Keith more personality. It was a very nice touch, especially considering most other entries didn't have them do much. Liu was a very fleshed out character, and Billy was nicely written too (something very positive for a background character). Same goes for the parents, although the father was a bit too "much". Unfortunately, I don't know what to think of Jeff. I can't feel sympathy for him, nor can I empathise with him. He isn't badly written, but I feel he lacks something.

What I really liked was the little dream sequences. Adding to them little by little was a very good idea and worked really well.

What I didn't like was Jeff's appearance in the end. Having everything charred except the head seems a bit off, at least for me.

Lastly, this scored extra points because it was so close to the original. Out of all the entries, this was the one which followed the plot more closely. For that you have my respect and my congratulations.

All in all, I enjoyed this very much. If it's worth anything to you, it was my third/fourth favourite story in the contest. Well done.