Squidward's Suicide Rewritten (Gasmaskboi2574)

Hello, my name is Som — I mean Sam, sorry, it’s just that English isn’t my language. Now, before I tell you this terrifying, graphic tale, I want you to know that I have no explanation for what happened last night…

You see, I was working at Nickelodeon as an intern in the golden years of Spongebob, before the theatrical movie came out and the series just went down the drain. Mainly, I just delivered Stephen Hillenburg’s coffee, but I did get to view many of the Spongebob episodes, days before they would air. In fact, let’s start there.

It was a rather dark and stormy day…so me and two other interns were in the editing room along with the lead animators and sound editors for the final cut. We then received the copy that was supposed to be "Fear of a Krabby Patty" and gathered around the screen to watch. One of the animators pressed the ‘play’ button and we began viewing “Fear of the Krabby Patty.”

The normal intro started playing, and then when it cut to the title card, some of the interns gasped, including me.

Instead of reading Fear of the Krabby Patty, it read “Squidward’s Suicide” in bloody letters on a black and grey background. Of course, we didn’t take this seriously because sometimes, our friends would change the title card to things such as, “Bubble Blood” or annoying stupid titles like that. Personally, I never found them that funny, but some of the interns would laugh. I eyed them suspiciously.

And then, like that, the episode began. Squidward was playing his clarinet while Spongebob and Patrick are laughing outside of Squidward’s house. However something was off, everything was black and white except for Squidward and SpongeBob's pupils which were red. Squidward then stopped and peeked through the right-hand window and yelled at them to knock it off and told him that he had a concert to practice for. Spongebob then said OK while waving goodbye and they left Squidward's house.

Then, before we knew it, we saw Squidward standing on a stage with a crowd of people in front of him. Suddenly an image flashed onscreen. I paused it and looked and it. It was an image of a child in a bedroom resting on his bed, but what made it so creepy was that he had black eyes and white pupils. I then continued the video, Squidward was now playing his clarinet.

After he was done, he stared at the crowd and people were booing him like crazy, but it wasn’t the normal cartoon booing. It was hyper realistic booing. What was really disturbing was that their eyes were red and very realistic and some of them had blood dripping from the eyes. Squidward's pupils were really small and he just stared at the crowd with those hyper realistic red eyes. Then it cut to an image of Squidward with those same realistic looking red eyes and then faded to Squidward's room.

I was confused.

Squidward was sitting on the edge of his bed with a depressed look on his face. This lasted for 1 minute and the screen faded to black for a split second before cutting back to his room. He was now crying with his face in his hands, it was very quiet and lasted for a few seconds. Squidward's face now overtook the screen, he had those same red eyes from before, his crying got so unbearable and it wasn't his typical crying but instead more realistic and depressing. It was also followed by the screaming sounds from suicidemouse.avi and a faint static. Creepy images flashed on screen while he had those eyes. After 3 insufferable minutes on Squidward's face he grabbed a shot gun and aimed it into his mouth then a loud demonic voice said “DO IT” while it showed an image of Squidward with black eyes and glowing pupils with black tears dripping from them. The camera panned out to reveal Squidward holding the shotgun and he shot it causing his brain and blood to shoot out. He then dropped down to show he killed himself and the episode ends.

Many of the interns left the room at this point, I don’t blame them, the episode was like no other that I’ve ever seen. If you ever find the episode, don’t watch it. It’s for your own good.