Talk:The Cutie Mark Crusaders/@comment-24502406-20160723210945

i have a few criticisms of this story:

1. what was Twilight's motivation for turning ponies into dolls in the original story? even "Cupcakes" explained Pinkie's actions in the story. this...really doesn't.

2. speaking of "Cupcakes", why does the original story feel like a ripoff of it and "Twilight's Dollhouse?" there are a few original elements here, but, in general, it feels like it was basically the same story as the former with some elements from the latter.

3. there were multiple grammatical errors, the most frequent being capitalizing the verbs after each quote. homophone confusion and dangling participles, while not as common, were still there and quite noticeable.

3a. in a similar vein, "physiatrist?" did you mean "psychiatrist?" because, from what i could gather, a physiatrist treats physical trauma, not mental trauma.

4. Smarty Pants being Silver Spoon came out of nowhere and needed more buildup.

5. contrary to popular belief, criticisms can also be good; the emotional moments definitely had some power to them (especially Applebloom's last moments before being turned into a doll/the ruse being revealed), and the alternate ending filled in the plot holes from the original story.

overall, i'd give it about a 5/10. there's something here, but it seems to be trying too hard to be the next "Cupcakes" instead of its own thing.