Hello, Larry: "That's Enough!"

While at my grandma's house one day, I was in my closet and suddenly came across a VHS tape I've never seen before - and trust me, I've been in this closet a lot. It was dated 6-23-94 and read "HELLO LARRY - 70S SITCOM". Knowing the show's reception (for those of you who don't know, it's been regarded as one of the worst shows of all time), I knew to stay the heck away from it. Alas, my curiosity won over my will to avoid it, and before long I was carrying my beloved VCR home. One long, tedious hookup later, I popped the cassette in and feasted my eyes on what appeared to be a local airing of a lost season 1 episode entitled "That's Enough".

Intended to be the series finale in case NBC wouldn't renew it, "That's Enough" was secretly taped in an unused lot on Metromedia Square, with actors that looked exactly like the main characters. Pressed for time, the cameraman reused a tape containing crummy-looking syndicated airings of Bonanza to record the episode. (Coincidentally, Bonanza aired on NBC as well.) Hello, Larry-hating employees in various positions then demanded to see the finished product, but it was only shown to the director's wife. I can't imagine why.

The opening credits, typical for these kinds of episodes, were redone to look scarier. Here, the opening theme is in G major, the picture is warped, and there' someone screaming the whole time. Pathetic.

Act one started with Ruthie Adler (Kim Richards, who for some reason is wearing all greenish-orange) walking up to the fridge and grabbing a glass of orange juice. Since Larry is doing his talk show, his daughters are being babysat by someone who I swear to God had to be portrayed by Judith Light. Diane Adler (Donna Wilkes) shows up and the two daughters engage in a really unfunny exchange until Light barges in and asks if they've finished their homework for tomorrow. Ruthie still has a page of science to do, while Diane struggles with math. The unfunniness goes on and on throughout the first act. When was it gonna END?!

Meanwhile, Larry's doing his radio show when a caller asks "Is this McLean Stevenson?" and "Why does your show suck?" Yep, the caller really said that. Larry answers with "Uh, I'm not him." and the audience apparently finds it funny. Suddenly, it cuts to Larry and his daughters at home, and Larry was getting killed by a man who calls himself "Monster". Has this episode become cursed?! No, it's just a nightmare Light was having.

Act two is every bit as terribly written as the first act - Larry's STILL doing his show, the daughters are taking the bus to school... but then Elliot Gould knocks on their door and walks in on Judith Light, who was about to leave the house. He appears to be reprising his role as Herb Goodman from the Star Trek sketch on a 1976 episode of what was then called NBC's Saturday Night. Same dialogue (except with all Trek references changes to Larry ones), same clothes, and even the same position! The only other difference was that he was covered in blue pen ink for no reason. Light leaves the house, and Gould proceeds to lay dynamite around the sets before letting a rabid midget named "Harry" blow them up. Oh, and a pointless laugh track appears over this.

The tag: After a very long show, Larry comes home to a wasted house. His jaw drops, and the theme song plays over a longer-than-usual credit scroll superimposed over his touring the ruins of the set, scenes from McLean Stevenson's previous sitcom bombs, and Larry banging his head against the wall. Not to mention, all the names were replaced with things like "Renew This", "The Show Must Go On", and "Please Don't Cancel Me".

And that's why Hello, Larry got renewed for a second season.

Magnetic1977