Holder of Connection

This may be the final story I ever write. I fear that the Holders have found me, because there is no other explanation for why I am participating in what can only be called an interactive horror story. Sometimes I still wonder if this is fact or fiction. Every story I have read about these Objects appears to fall within the boundaries of truth, if they can so be called, and yet there are many things that indicate these are fabrications, that there's no such thing as any of these Objects, but at the same time, the story is so fascinating that I'm having trouble pulling away. Either way, my mind has never been blown like this, and I've seen some pretty strange and awesome things in my life.

Do not seek this Object if you do not have the Ladder Rung; your efforts are futile without it.

The Holders are likely to destroy me in my sleep the next time I slumber, and I'm getting tired. I will finish these instructions to the best of my ability and knowledge, but you must realize, dear Seeker, that these Objects must remain forever separated. If your true intent is to keep the Objects apart, you will not be able to obtain this one, but that won't stop you if you are this far in your quest.

(Good luck explaining why you are carrying a ladder rung with you, as you are likely to be confronted about it.)

Go to any cultural center during a play. It is more likely to occur at night. It doesn't matter who's performing, so long as someone close to the door overhears you mentioning the "Holder of Connection" in casual conversation. If you are tapped on your right shoulder, look to your left, and vice versa.

Make sure to give this person a hearty hug; he, or she does not like standoffish people, or those who have trouble with intimacy. Give your name when you are asked, and remember the name you are given. Walk with this person to the door of the performance, deep in conversation with him or her. When you are blocked by the guard, speak your new friend's name, mentioning that you're here with them. He, or she, will produce another ticket for you, and you will be escorted in to the performance.

Pay close attention! If you are ushered to the Orchestra row, you are safe (for now.) If you are guided by your friend to the Mezzanine row, then you have been deemed unworthy...

The play will amaze, inspire and mesmerize you. You will feel a deep connection with the characters on stage; you will feel their joys and sorrows as if they were your very own. Many a lost Seeker is still in the audience to this very day, because the effect of this play on their hearts has been so profound that they still do not wish to leave.

At a certain moment during the play, there will be a jester and a princess in the courtyard of a castle. The jester will ask the princess: "Why so glum?" At this point, the princess will look directly at you; this is your cue to stand up and say, "Are you dense? She lost it!"

The jester will laugh heartily, commending you on your nerve. You will be invited on stage. The princess will ask you, "Did you know what you were getting yourself into?" You must answer, with every bit of audacity you can muster; "That goes without saying. Did you?"

A pair of floating eyes will open, looking at you from the left side. "It's about time," their voice will say. Do not make eye contact, no matter how hard these eyes try. Seeing them in your peripheral vision is already burning away your retinas, so wait until they look as though they are attracting a multitude of shiny, glimmering dots. "Quick!" the eyes will say. "Put the rung where it goes!" A ladder will appear next to you; one rung is missing.

Produce the Ladder Rung and place it in the space where there should be one. When you feel it lock into place, you will suddenly find yourself outside the city limits, roughly 7 or 8 miles west of the cultural center, with the assembled ladder at your left side.

This is Object 560 of 2538, the Ladder Between Realms. Climb it if you dare.

Credited to inventor-