Ha Ha Ha

I am a big fan of Cartoon Network. I have DVDs of my favourite shows and know a whole lot of stuff about the shows, like when they got cancelled, why, etc. etc. I even remember the time CN screwed up on Regular Show and made the backgrounds look all black and Muscle Man look high... I was all over the ground laughing at the mistakes. But one day, my obsession of CN got compromised... It was a rainy day outside. I was a bit bored, so I tuned to Cartoon Network and watched it. It was Regular Show, but it just ended and the credits were playing. I was a bit disappointed so I used the TV guide to see what was next. It just said... "Ha Ha Ha". The name rang a bell in my head. I was pondering on it for a good minute as the commercials were playing. I finally noticed that it was the name of a block in Latin America & Brazil. I know because I was watching it on a vacation in the Caribbean. It was kinda weird on the guide that it said the name of the block and not the shows and I started to feel uneasy. I watched it anyway, with my inner fanboy getting in the way of my sanity. After another 2 minutes of commercials I was eventually got sick of because the network repeats them so often, the block started with a Brazil-dubbed promo of Jake telling a joke to the water girls in "Power Animal", and after that all the characters like Mordecai and Rigby go ape shit laughing. I guess they were too lazy to dub it themselves, still feeling uneasy about the whole thing. Then Regular Show came on. I was glad because then that could make up for what I missed.

It opened like any other RS episode, but skipped the part that said, "Created by J.G. Quintel". I thought it was just a screw-up, after all CN did make mistakes like these before.

The title of the episode was in Japanese. "拷打", it read. I was incredibly not familiar with Japanese. Instead of being a generic idiot and passing it off as another glitch, I decided to turn the channel as a wave of uneasiness washed up on me.

Except the remote didn't work. None of the buttons worked, even the power button in an attempt to turn it off. I checked in my basement, where I keep the batteries, and I had none. I came back up and I noticed that the title card still read "拷打". I had enough and went up to the TV and looked for the buttons usually on the side of the TV to turn it off. Just my luck, those weren't working either. I even tried turning off my power strip connecting to my Apple TV and TV and the only thing that turned off was the Apple TV. I was starting to feel scared. I had no choice but to pass the Japanese text off as another glitch and watch.

It started with a black screen. Muffles could be heard and a few coughs. This happened for about two minutes until light is shown. Someone wearing a bandits mask that covers everything but the eyes opened what seemed to be a small duffle bag. The camera shot to what was in the bag, and it was Mordecai and Rigby. The man took them out by their legs and tied them up in chairs. It was an electrical chair.

The man hit a button on a remote and electrocuted them. Their screams sounded super-realistic. After that the man takes Mordecai to a door installed in a wide space with a floor made out of concrete. By now I knew that they got kidnapped and are being tortured by this man.

He threw Mordecai on top of the door, tied him on top, and broke his legs with his bare hands. As Mordecai was untied and dropped to the floor, he took Rigby and put him in another chair, blindfolding him.

This time it had a bucket full of water and a rope attached to it.

I knew what this method of torture was. It was called Chinese Water Method or something like that. The water will slowly drip on ones face and they will go insane. And I was not ready to see one of my favourite cartoon characters go through that, as scared as I was.

The man started to slowly pour the water onto Rigby's head. It was dead silence by this point and the only noise present was dripping, getting louder every time it was heard.

Sooner or later, Rigby got insane, yelling out loud, "KILL ME! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! END ME!"

I shed a few tears as he started to go insane. By now Mordecai went insane too, yelling almost identically what Rigby was exclaiming. I was paralyzed in fear as some of my favourite characters went insane.

The man pulled out a gun and loaded it. "YES! DO IT! PLEASE!" They were now yelling louder and didn't sound like my favourite bros I used to know. I don't even know how the actors did those voices.

Eventually, they got shot. Multiple shots in the back were given as they were laughing. The laughing got quieter and quieter as they slowly died.

The credits rolled slowly. It was the usual credits slowed down along with the music. At the end, the CN studios logo was the older logo with the old AOL byline. The logo stood open. It was Mordecai and Rigby. They were mutilated with gore and all. I'm not even going to go into full detail, I'm paranoid as I already am.

I was- well- just shocked. Seeing my favourite characters go insane. Knowing I couldn't do anything about my TV, I thought of putting a hammer to my TV after that. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I went and checked the Cartoon Network schedule to see if this shit was on for everyone else, but first I went to nickandmore to see the latest news to calm me down. I went to the CN section. Then I saw some news. My TV provider was Dish. And apparently they took off all the Time Warner channels in a recent feud.

I was frozen for five minutes as my tv tuned to Nickelodeon. The time of the incident I'm stating is Nov. 3rd, '14. The channels were off for 2 weeks by now. Someone must've hijacked my signal.

I called up Dish to cancel my subscription and switch to DirecTV. I managed cancelling.

To this day, I'm not sure what other shows were aired on the supposed block. But the only thing I know is that I was the only one who saw that. Every forum I tried to get help with had the post deleted within 4 minutes.

I still love Cartoon Network and my CN merchandise, but I'm still effected by the whole experience of the incident.

But make this a warning...

You never know what's in the minds of some people...