Talk:Unsavable Silver/@comment-30627662-20170326172938

I'm not entirely sure how old this story is, so some of my constructive criticism may be wrong. I must point out, there are a few minor grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors, but nothing too horrendous. I'm glad that you said that you got Pokemon Silver- a game you didn't own- from your nephew as a good-bye present, instead of saying something along the lines of: "I found an abandoned game on the side of the road" or "A shady old man in an alleyway handed me a Pokemon Silver game", because those are a bit overused and Cliche'd. The screeching from the game itself really gave me the spooks, thinking about exactly how terrifying that would be, especially since you were alone. A few problems with the plot details, though. I see that you mentioned the Lavender Town theme playing in-game. Lavender Town has been seen in many different Pokepastas over the years, and some people don't really favor its repetitiveness. I have no huge problem with it in this story, but I suggest avoiding it in any other Pokepastas in order to avoid people saying that it is used as a cliche. This is the same for GHOST. Like I said, I have no problems with Lavender Town and GHOST in this story, but I do suggest avoiding them in any future stories. Just a question before this long-as-heck comment ends, what exactly caused all of this to happen? Did the game miss its old owner? Did the game not want your save file? How did this all happen?

All in all, I enjoyed this story. The plot went along smoothly, the readers were given a bit of a background to previous events happening in the storyteller's life before the events in-game happened, and there wasn't a huge amount of blood and gore in the story. Some Pokepastas, even regular Creepypastas themselves, deal with this issue at one point or another. I even struggle with it in my stories. You were able to make the story creepy and suspenseful without having buckets of blood being dumped over characters. Kudos to you.

I would give this story a 9/10, for the reasons listed above. A big ol' thanks to you if you actually read this. This is my first ever critique on a story, so I hope it helped. Remember, I am not trying to be mean or put down your story in any way, I am just trying to help. If you are planning on making more 'Pastas in the future (Pokemon related or not), I say that you do so. With that said, have a nice day. -NocturnalIceDragon