Talk:Jeff the Killer: Randy/@comment-35501667-20190823121522

When I saw your posts on tumblr about RulerofPurple’s artwork on Randy’s appearance and decided her’s would be canon, I was actually pleased since I always saw Randy as a ginger, I was surprised to hear that you saw him as the same, haha. Guess we’re like minded.

Before I go on to give out my review, I’m gonna say this. It pains me to admit this, but the story was not worth the wait. Not only was this short, but the arc it gave out for Randy was poorly done. I thought it would at least show some scenes from his perspective on the day of the flare gun injury and how he coped with it in the coming years leading up to events of SoC and onwards. This honestly could’ve been done better, and it’s a slap in the face that this took nearly a whole year to be published, it’s the shortest one in the series so far and the longer ones were released sooner. This was too quick to that it took me only a couple hours to read, whereas your previous stories were so long that it took more than a day for me to read as I found myself taking constant breaks from staring at the screen too long. Bottom line, the story wasn’t handled the best, there are so many ways I could’ve seen this being improved on. One part that annoyed me the most was probably Randy’s knowledge of Sawyer. It’s explained in his nightmare that his mother revealed it to him, but I’m surprised that even she knew about the entire thing since Sawyer only interacted with Maxwell. Bottom line though, the way it’s presented as to how he got the knowledge is just cheap. It would’ve been better if an actual scene depicting him and his mother conversing about it was shown and not just some words from an unknown figure depicting an off-screen event. Before this released, I thought Randy didn’t know about it and we would’ve read a scene depicting him and his father sat down one day, and his father explains the entire plot to him. This wasn’t handled the best way and could’ve been done better, as it is after all supposed to be a big part that would change Randy because he’s practically been living his life under constant surveillance, and learning the truth off-screen just felt like a lacklustre. And IMO, this story just seems rushed.

But again, it does pain me to leave bad feedback on this story, I’ve always enjoyed your content and this one did not satisfy me. The wait was not worth it. If you made this one short intentionally as you perhaps have bigger plot twists in the making to be revealed later in a much bigger and larger stories to be revealed in this series, I’ll take all of this back, it’d make sense that way. But there were some parts that I enjoyed.

Like, for the first time, we get to see Maxwell Hayden in the flesh, arguing with his son was something I think we all wanted to see. Despite the redemption we see him attempt to make in JtK: Shades of Madness, he was still a fascist that needed to be talked down finally. Especially from his own son. It was satisfying to see his wife and son finally give him the shit he clearly needed.

And revealing Randy’s sexuality was unexpected. I didn’t imagine him to be a homosexual, that’s an interesting character development. Makes him unique, pretty cool.

Come to think of it now, did this argument between the father and son happen before the phone call to Drake in SoM, or after? Because it’d make sense seeing Maxwell lay tabs on Mandeville whilst living on his own away from his wife and son who he clearly broke up with.

And what Maxwell said, “Neither of you know what it was like…. You were both just along for the ride.”, that is a clear reference to Sawyer’s plan. Genius.

Also, one line stuck out that seems to contradict a bit of the plot. Bridget’s line; “I guess I learned that way back before you were born, when he and I first married.”, this implies that Maxwell was already a wealthy douche before Randy was born, but that can’t be the case because in SoM it is revealed that Maxwell’s wealth originated from Sawyer’s plan, which he granted via the acceptance of using Randy. Unless I misunderstood the whole thing.

And btw, one thing that made me laugh was Derrick’s mention of the Max Headroom incident, the moment the interruption came up it actually reminded me of that, haha.

I hope the next one will be better and much more worth waiting for. I understand that you may be busy in real life with maybe a job or events happening that need your attention, but if that was the case for this then I’m damn well shocked for you because this was short and it took almost a year for you to finish it, I honestly hope real life isn’t taking THAT much of your free time, I’d feel bad for you if it did. Anyway, thanks again for releasing the story. And I apologise if any of my criticism was too harsh for you.

By the way, here are some grammar mistakes I noticed, the text in bold is the word that needs changing, use CTRL + F to find and fix them:

"we are here to collect what you now!"

"He world was swimming now."

"living as Sean Bennett"

"I was a just the WORST, right???? I real monster!"

"because your sick Max"

"was not longer present"

"weeks ago and help hostage at"

"What they hell is going on?"