Holder of Schizophrenia

In any city, in any country, go to any hospital you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Schizophrenia". The worker's eyes will turn blood red, and a sinister smile will grow on his face. He will then dissolve and behind him you will see a wall adorned with all sorts of evil symbols that cannot be described in any mortal tongue.

Approach this wall, and upon reaching a few feet from it, an immense feeling of fatigue will befall you, and it will only get progressively worse the closer you get to the wall. You will have an intense urge to collapse into a deep sleep where you stand, but do not give in, for if you do fall into this sleep, you will be damned to your worst nightmares for all eternity.

If you are able to pass through the wall without giving into this fatigue, you will enter a plane that will appear to be evil yet pleasant at the same time. It is a void-like plane rich in dark, unknown textures. Your mind will deteriorate the more your mortal eyes lay upon these forbidden textures. If you are weak, you will succumb to a fate that would make hell comparable to your most intense orgasm. This plane is one that was created at your birth. You must tread it with extreme caution, for it knows all about you, even deeper than your own soul, and one false move can invoke dire consequences.

You will see an ensanguined, mysterious altar in the distance, surrounded by thick mists of blood. Pay no mind to it. Force yourself to forget its existence, and search for a translucent, green door. Its existence should become conspicuous briefly if your mind has not already been languished by the unholy textures of the plane. If it has, instead you will see an upside-down blood-red door, translucent from its center-up. This door leads to the deepest, unknown regions of hell, those of which not even the devil himself is aware of. You have two options here: Go through it, or wait until an unbelievable monstrosity appears and delivers you into an unknown, grotesque fate.

Hopefully your mind has remained strong enough to discern the green door. Go through it, and if you cherish your life, you will not bother to concern yourself with the painting of assorted avian skulls on the wall to the right. In this room, bathed rich in red and semi-living fleshly textures, you must induce vomiting and bathe in it to please the nameless beings who have been watching you since you entered. Your parents will then slowly form into the center of a flaming pentagram in the center of the room. If instead they are your grandparents, callously disembowel yourself with the ancient, rusted mace that rests in the hands of the Baphomet statue to your left as fast as you possibly can; it is a most honorable decision instead of staying alive for what's about to happen next.

If the beings inside the pentagram are indeed your parents, ask them one thing and one thing only: "Who is responsible for Them?". A sheepish smile will creep onto their faces, then they will fuse together at the face, and hold their palms out with a mouth on all four of them towards you, and in a black voice proceed to explain in superfluous detail how Time was conceived and other abhorrent details you would wish you had never assimilated. Many have removed their ears after hearing this tale to ensure they never hear anything like it ever again. The tale will last for about two days. During this time, it is advisable to not stray from your current stance.

When the tale has finished, your parents will tear every inch of flesh from their bodies while screaming in illimitable agony, and now appear before you as aberrant, one-eyed skeletons with their eyes no longer present. You must now reach into both skeletons' singular eye sockets simultaneously and extract the Object. One skeleton's singular eye socket contains the Object, while the other skeleton's contains an unspeakable abyss. If you only reach into one socket, you will give yourself to fleshly walls that embellish the interior of the room until Time is reborn. You must sacrifice half of your arm to this abyss in order to obtain this Object. Do not fret, however; you will be overwhelmed by an incredible, indescribable blissful feeling as the void removes half of your arm to leave but a clean stump at the elbow, which is now perpetually marked with a an imbrued inverted cross. Your other arm will be fine, so remove the Object, and it will be the apple from the Garden of Eden, bitten by Adam himself. Take a bite out of it, and your vision will get very hazy and distorted as you are transported back to the hospital. You swear to have discerned the face of a horrific figure appear in this vision, but it's best not to worry too much about it.

The apple of Adam is object #545. Consume it entirely when the time is right. You will know when.

Credited to NJMike