User blog:GodzillaFan1/LET'S READ: Sonic's Painful Death (AKA another Sonic.exe Rip-Off)

Like always, I kept clicking the "Random Pasta" button, and believe it or not; I found a pasta that is WORSE than Luigi's Mansion: Blood Moon. The pasta I found was called Sonic's Painful Death, and to be honest, I wanted to commit suicide while reading it. It is the EXACT same as Sonic.exe (basically), but shorter. Yay...

HERE WE GO:

>Now, I know you're going to be mad at me for this, but I have played countless Sonic games, from classic to modern Sonic games.

...why would we get mad at you for playing Sonic games...?

>It was a long afternoon and I was playing Sonic Dash on my iPhone. Then I just knew beyond a point that something was in my mail box. In my mail was a CD case for computers, and, to my surprise, it was a CD copy of Sonic 1.

Geez. This sounds awfully familiar...

>But what was in the CD was some text in blue marker that read, "DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME!"

Oh, shit. The cliches are here!

> And the music that was in the background was the Sonic 4 Episode 1 title screen music, only playing in reverse.

There's another one...

>And the music, to my surprise was the Green Hill Zone, but it was barely slowed down, and it was reversed.

We're still in the beginning, and I already want to kill myself. Luigi's Mansion: Blood Moon was bad, but AT LEAST I didn't want to kill myself while reading it!

>It just cut to static for approximatley 10 seconds.

OH SHIT! THE STOP WATCHES AND STATIC ARE HERE TOO??? Also, *approximately

>It was Sonic but he had no eyes and red pupils. The background was blood red.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!1

>The Dead Sonic stood there, looking at Sonic for about approximately, 15 to 20 seconds. Then static came back but only for a half of a second.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck this pasta and its stop watches.

>"Sega 1991" was replaced with "Sega Dead"

OH SHIT! I thought "Sega 666" was scary, but "Sega Dead" just makes me want to jump out of my seat!

>The Sonic CD Game Over music which was the USA version was in. Only it was playing in reverse. Now it may seem similar to the Sonic.EXE game, but I digress.

More. Fucking. Reversed music shit. And lol you basically admitted that you ripped-off Sonic.exe.

>It took a while, but I managed to get the CD out, then finally smashed it into pieces.

I can't fucking believe you just went there.

> I went downstairs to the living room, and what I just saw sent me into shock... Inside the TV... staring directly at me... was the same exact Dead Sonic as I saw in the CD I smashed into pieces! He is on my TV with blood red static in the background.

FUCK THIS SHIT! I'M KILLING MYSELF! I CANNOT CONTAIN THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE! THIS PASTA IS...IS....IS....JUST...FUCKING UNBELIEVABLY BAD! IT'S NOT BAD, IT'S FUCKING ABYSMAL! THIS PASTA IS THE BIGGEST DISGRACE TO HUMANITY AS A WHOLE! IF YOU THOUGHT SONIC.EXE WAS SHIT, OH NO... YOU'VE SEEN NOTHING! THIS RIGHT HERE, FOLKS, IS THE WORST PASTA I'VE READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

DO NOT FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THIS RIP-OFF CLICHE BULLSHIT THAT IS CALLED.....

Sonic's. Painful. Death...