Squidward's Suicide (Rewrite)

I've been working for Nickelodeon studios for some time now, and I have a somewhat frightening tale to tell you, after 5 years of working there in the past.

It was an average day at work. I was at a desk with some of the other writers trying to think of plots for future episodes. At the time, we just finished the movie, and we were sapped of creativity. After a solid hour or so of thinking, we get called down to the meeting room where we usually held our meetings, and sometimes, even watch episodes early in. We were supposed to watch and early cut of Fear of a Krabby Patty. Instead of that however, we got something entirely different. We started up the file for the episode, and the usual intro played. When it went the title card, it said, "Squidward's Suicide." We usually come up with mock title cards before an episode's complete. Some of which were lewd or phony titles. such as "How sex doesn't work" instead of "Rock-a-bye-Bivalve" when SpongeBob and Patrick adopt a sea scallop. It wasn't too funny, but it did give us a few chuckles. So when we saw the title card, some of us were chuckling. The first scene started with Squidward playing the clarinet, hitting a few sour notes as usual. Spongebob and Patrick are outside, playing. Squidward stops playing, and tells them he has to practice for a recital. The two say they're sorry, and they head off to Sandy's tree dome. Squidward picks up the clarinet again, and proceeds to play for a little bit. The bubble transition plays, and plenty of fish were entering said recital.

The curtain opens, and Squidward greets the audience. He proceeds to play a song on his clarinet, hitting more sour notes than he usually does. Most frames at this part either repeat themselves, or the sound doesn't match up with the visuals. The crowd starts booing, and it wasn't the usual cartoon booing we were used to. We could clearly hear malice in it. Squidward stops playing, and looks visibly upset. The camera pans to the audience, where we see Squilliam booing him. He says, "You'll never good at your dumb clarinet, just give up! You'll never be good at anything, unlike ME." Spongebob is in the crowd, staring at Squilliam with a worried expression. Patrick just cheers him on while the rest of the crowd boos Squidward. Squidward then goes off-stage a starts to go home. He puts his tentacles on his face, and puts his face down. It cuts back to Squidward in his bed, having a blank, somewhat upset expression. After a while of him doing nothing, he proceeds to put his tentacles on his face yet again. In the background, we hear someone crying, which is barely audible. As the crying gets slightly louder, a low wind breeze sound begins to play.

After a minute or so, we can hear the breeze sound, as well as the crying at a somewhat loud volume. The crying started to get more pained, and the breeze grew more louder and faster. The screen began to shake violently, and we could even hear branches being broken in the background. Squidward starts to eventually cry a small amount of blue blood, which was drawn in a style similar to dripping paint. Eventually, Squidward stops crying. We then hear quiet laughter in the background. Squidward uncovers his face, and we see it. His eyes were bloodshot, red, and pulsating. He had black rings around his eyes, as well as bags. Squidward starts to cry again, this time, without covering his eyes. He started crying even more painfully than before. More blood drips down his face, and after a long while, we hear a deep voice say, "Do it... DO IT. DO IT!," After a few seconds, the camera pans down to reveal a shotgun in his hands. Squidward puts it in his mouth, he closes his eyes, and his tentacles being to shake. He fires, and blood and brain matter flew onto the walls, and his body flew with force. The last few frames of the episode was of Squidward's dead body on his bed, with one eye dangling, and most of his face missing.

The writers, animators, etc., being to ask what the hell just happened, and why this was even made. Some of them were slightly crying, and one of them even threw up. I decided I needed to get answers, and I went to the Audio Mixer's computer. The episode file was edited a minutes before we watched it. I honestly don't know to this day who even edited the file, and how they could make an episode like this in a short time. To this day, I remember it clearly. I hope that after all this time, I can finally figure out who made the episode, and why.