Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015: Creator's Cut/@comment-30307610-20171003195016

So here are my thoughts on this story.

Its an interesting concept, a newpaper interview, but it kind of fell flat. The tone shift shouldnt have happened. If you were doing the story like the start the tone should have stayed first person as Jeff is the one talking. Additionally there should be interjections from the interviewer sprinkled in.

Also, because you have set it up as a story that Jeff is telling, you have placed Jeff as a weird godlike being as there are things sprinkled throughout that Jeff wouldn't know until later (I do understand that its later but you don't have it as first person so it breaks the wall weirdly).

There are a few parts in the story where you tell the reader instead of showing them "Randy, clearly the leader" but I'll go into that more with my full review of the cut version on the CPW.

Overall I liked the concept of a newspaper interviewing JtK but it seems like it was just a setup that you didnt really want to follow through with. It also seems like there is a lot of this story that can be cut even if you wanted to include that stuff. Again, I'll do a more thorough review on the CPW but I wanted to post this here because the begining and end bits aren't included in that version.

Thanks Lavecki (talk) 19:50, October 3, 2017 (UTC)Lavecki